The places we go to be seen
I started thinking about this blog post last month following an experience of connection, of vulnerability, of being with and being held collectively by some of the extraordinary humans who have stepped into the Ghost Light to come into relationship with their fallback over the past three years. We were gathered for one of the quarterly Ghost Light alumni sessions, this one on the topic of Fallback and Culture that my brilliant friend, researcher, practitioner, and Ghost Light Alumni, Dr. Alis Anagnostakis, was hosting with me. In the zoom room we had representatives from four different countries of origin, three different countries of current residence.
My intention with this post was to write about the what of the territories we had traversed during our time together (which, by the way, blew wide open our automatic assumptions about what culture encompasses, expanding our understanding of the ways in which we are shaped and how we experience this shaping).
Yet, when I awoke the next morning, what was most present to me was the energetic buzz and deep connection I felt from being in community…in this community…a place that we can go to be seen. Indeed, while I couldn’t stop thinking about and sensing into what felt true to me from our exploration, what was most profound about our time together was less the what, and more the how…and the tremendous gift of being able to hold and being held in these spaces.
I bring my full self to these alumni gatherings, too, as much in the discovery as every other person there. I [do my best to] let go of my tendency to stick to a plan, to consult the script, to anticipate what the group will need. We all hold the space for each other and what emerges together. And it’s magic.
And when I opened my computer to write this post, I found my eyes drawn to this subject line in my inbox,
“Do not take your broken heart and go home,”
linking to this article, I trusted that the universe was conspiring. The op-ed piece, authored by Rabbi Sharon Brous, described a literal place that Jews would go on pilgrimage…a place where they could be seen…and the practice of meeting someone in their darkness and inquiring into those sacred spaces. Rabbi Braus points out that while we may walk the path of witness at one time, the next time we may walk the path of sorrow, in need of being seen.
How often do we find ourselves in spaces with other humans where we are invited to discover them in their fullness and in that process find ourselves? I suspect for most, this experience is woefully scarce. Yet, it is immensely needed. I’m so very grateful for the members of the Ghost Light community for their courage in stepping onto the stage, into the light to illuminate their sorrows and their pain, their stumbles and constrictions. In the process they find themselves in their joy, their aliveness, their expansiveness and grace. And they see others in all of their foibles and potential and the beauty of where they are as they are right now.
What are the places you go to be seen, to reveal both the darkness and the light that is part of you, because you are human, and to be loved not just in spite of your constrictions, but because of them…for the fears they represents, the values they are protecting? If you have this longing but no place to have it tended, do not take your broken heart and go home. The Ghost Light offers you a place and a way to be seen.
If you are interested in learning more about the ways that you may step into the Ghost Light, see our offerings here. And don’t hesitate to reach out to chat with me directly. You can book a time on my schedule here.
